As i opened my laptop to view the e-mails , i saw a lot of dust on my keyboard. i took a soft cloth and gently wiped it clean . So easy . But, to wipe off the dust from somewhere else is not that easy . Infact i find it so difficult that i wonder , should i pretend to do the act of wiping it off as, each time  i fail to do so . Things were so clear and  so clean in childhood , there was no scope of doing any mistakes , the kind ,which becomes heavy for  ur soul to carry off. Now , there is no dearth of doing and repeating the mistakes. And each one brings along the guilt ,a terrible accomplishment for the soul . My soul is now so much suffocated , i want to breathe fresh air again soon or else i will die .  I can think about the childhood , the pleasures and  the innocence. ?where have i lost them/and?when . ?why didn't, i realise it while losing my innocence. and why can't i achieve the freashness of the childhood yet again . why can't i get out of my share of 'sins' - is it due to lack of time  or due to the fear of losing out on the realations that i have built ,or the fear of breaking off the trust that i find  others have on me . But , in safeguarding the material gains that i have made so far and  in not doing the penance for my sins, i am making my soul a 'pauper ' . No body else can see, how poor have i grown ,except me and i am trapped in the vicious circle as i don't want everyone  to see the filth in me . How do i live ? The filth and the guilt is killing me slowly each day . I want to become pure from within . i 'want' to wipe off this 'DHOOL' from my soul so that i can breathe again. p.s- kindly tell me what did u feel after reading the 'want' in me -did u laugh it off, as it doesn't concern u. or did u scoffed at the post-what the hack , everybody feels so sometime in their life and those who feel like this , they should take care of it by themselves /?why bother others  or does it ring a bell in ur thought process and u want to join ur soul in wiping out the dust from ur soul .