......from nowhere she sprang to the windshield of my car and started wiping the glass. i tried hard to ignore at first but couldnot. i looked at her and my hand searched for some thing to give to her instantly but i was not able to find anything to give to her . time was running out as the traffic signal seconds read 9,8,7.....then i got hold of a pen in my car . i gave it to her without thinking any further. she looked amused ,she hesitated for a moment and then she accepted just before i spode off. i looked in the backview mirror and found her looking at the pen holding in front of her eyes . just hope that one day she makes a good use of it and inspires herself to study . i just hope . i know i have done nothing for her and in those kind of fleeting moments , i will never be able to do anything except just thinking and feeling sorry for them and boring my friends on net with these posts about street childrens but i hope for myself that i would be able to do something solid for them , rather than just plain wish, one day.

hi, dear friends . somedays back i had to submit my laptop at the service centre for some problem with my surgery recording system. they told me that they will have to uninstall my hard disk once for to install that software properly . they assured me that everything will remain same as before as they would be taking a backup of all the programmes . however , i find that when i want to compress my photos in the file to the web size , the software is missing . earlier , any picture or photo , i open ,it would be so easy to eidt /compress to the web page or e-mail size with one click but now it is all complex . i have installed ''picasa'', BUT it doesnot work in the same way for compressing the photos. can any body help?

i know that everything doesn't work out as plannedalways............. but still i don't know i am feeling very out of place with myself . On friday while going to a far off hospital i forgot my mobile , o.k i informed at my home to divert the important calls , operated and when i came to my car , i found that i had left the headlights on [it was raining hard that day and while coming i must have put on the lights in the city traffic and then i forget]. the car was dead . there was hardly anybody to help me around . i rang to my wife to get some assistance . i waited in the rain for an hour before she could arrive with the service man who immediately started my car thankfully . Anyway , next day i was going to operate and my machine broke down. Had to cancel the surgery and shift patient to another hospital. Damn . i am feeling aweful. my laptop is not working [pic editor fn is somehow gone after the service ] and they are not able to help me out . the geysor is also not functioning and has gone for repair. kaya karu?  car , mobile, instruments,laptop,geysor ....all machines but so much inflence and control they have ??

Today we got a special gift from our 7 years daughter . we had not expected something or anything like this from her , though she is more creative than her dadiji, more meticulous than her mom in carrying out a work once undertaken and certainly more artistic than me . when we were getting ready to get into our car for dinner at a new resturant ''barbaque nation'', she was visibly excited and carried a small bag with her . As we sat on the table , she wished us ''happy marriage anniversary '' and opened her gifts one by one . first came out a water painting , that of a castle , beautifully made . then came out a small paper cut art work for my wife and then a small small bat signed 'dhoni' for me . these gifts may seem odd to somebody but for me these are the world's costliest gifts and i know i am not going to get something as precious as this ever in my life . The thoughts , the time and the effort and the innocence with which she gave it all to us was something which will remain with me for ever and it made our evening truly a special one.[ i am really sorry for not being able to put up those gifts for viewing on net due to some fault with my laptop]

p.s.- my mom still remembers the gift we[me and my elder sister] gave her on her birthday which falls on 15th auguest[1947]. we were studying in 1st and 2nd std and didn't had much in our pocket except some coins adding upto 25 paise. since we didnot wish to ask anybody for money to buy her the gift , we asked a vendor selling sugar cane to cut it into small pieces and packed them neatly and gave it to our mom. she still says that it was the best gift she ever recieved in her life till date.

my patient ,suffering from the systemic vasculitis , underwent a major operation yesterday where her gangrenous skin and soft tissue was removed . i was so uncomfortable and apprehensive while taking her for surgery as i was concerend how she will tolerate the pain afterwards and whether the child would be safe as it is a precious pregnancy [six years post marriage]. she chose to go inside the operation theatre with the photo of her spiritual guruji and we let her do it as it was a matter of faith for her . the surgery finished off very well and child was absolutely safe during and after the surgery as monitered through foetal doppler machine [an instrument which records the foetal heart sounds]. today when i went to see her , i was so surprised to see her smiling at me with out any artificial efforts, it was unbelievable even for me . i understand the pain she is tolerating , it is something like somebody burning u from upside down and then peeling off ur whole skin . still she can smile !! extraordinary courage this women possess and hats off to her . i think that the hope of keeping alive her precious baby [we are making every effort to do that] is giving her this supreme strength as only a mother can endure so much pain in this world .

systemic vasculitis ---it is a dreaded disease , an autoimmune kind where ur own defence system acts against ur body ......in this case the small and medium sized vessels of body like that supplying skin , intestine , kidneys, lungs , .....can get affected . here this disease has affected the skin of a pregnant [6 months] female , causing gangrene of both legs and thighs, arms , abdomen, chest and back . the pain suffered by the patient is enormous and can be compared with 3rd degree burns affecting around 70% body. she has to undergo the pain of either aborting the child or delivering [miracle !]and the pain of undergoing numerous surgeries to remove the dead skin and then replacing it with her own skin by plastic surgery . this process may go on for may be around six months , can't say right now . at present what we can offfer this patient ,besides our treatment is our compassion and prayers.

i have just come to my consulting after debriding a part of this wound , the wound is extensive and i can not dare to show the enormosity of it but even a 100th part of this wound in this condition of vasculitis may take months and months to heal so i don't know how much this is going to take . and because of pregnancy we cannot give her sedatives or general anaesthesia while dressing or removing the dead skin , yesterday my staff fell ill after attending and just seeing the condition of wound and the patient while we were doing dressing . i have to ask almighty to give me heart for doing the procedure on her everyday and see her in so much pain but she is fighting it all valliantly and i hope she continues to do that . i hope she fights it out and i hope we all fight it out for this patient and defeat the progression of this disease.

how much pain can be endured by an indiviual. recently we have a patient ,female , who is suffering from a rare disease in which the bodies immune system turn hostile to the body itself and attacks the small and medium sized vessels[ arteries and veins] , destroying them and thus causing unbearable pain , necrosis of the skin, pus and infection,and finally gangrene of the tissues . this patient is 7 months pregnant on top of it . now the limitations of treatment and complexities of handling the case multiplies for the doctors but just imagine the plight of the female who is bearing the pain of pregnancy and this rarest of rare disease. she has around 70% of her body's skin turned necrosed and gangrenous . Even my dresser panicked on seeing her  in this state and wondered how she is managing to endure all this . if she at all survives with the effort of the team of doctors attending on her including physician , skin specialist, gynaecologist, rheumatologist, hematologist and surgeon and plastic surgeon , she will have to be very very brave for atleast five to six months . i am praying for her recovery and look towards the almighty to give her sustained strength and speedy recovery and i wish my fellow i landers also pray for her . i can not publish any pic of the disease to make my ilanders see the enormosity of the disease as viewing it may make some body nauseating and i don't want that happening.

this is enormous in size and magnificance. we enjoyed it thoroughly , there is a temple and a small shopping place where u can get original rudraksh .

we visited dwarika recently ,it is near porbandar ...around two hours drive from there. it retains the old town charm, nothing much has changed though there is commercialism but not so much as i have seen at other places . i took this photo from outside as the inside photography is not permissible . we did some shopping like purchasing lord krishnas photos on canvass sheet, sea shells , kodi- a sea shell with which u can play a game and then we went on  to see NAGESHWAR [15kmsfrom dwarika], a huge monument of lord 'SHIVA' has been constructed recently and probably this is the biggest statue of lord shiva in india [pls correct me if anybody knows of a bigger than this one ]. it is a nice place to sit around and relax . actually all the places near porbandar are very good for relaxing and making a picnic .

why does life looks so valuable when u r about to lose it ......everything the place u have lived , the relations u have formed and the relations u have, suddenly looks so much more precious ....u want to hold on to everything in life ......embrace everybody , notwithstanding the faults that irritated u or made u angry ....nothing matters ....it is the feeling of overwhelming love and gratitude for everyone .....that remains with u in ur last moments.So embrace , embrace and embrace life..... and what comes along with both hands and an open heart as u never know when u will be gone ,just like that ......in a matter of few seconds .